Friday, June 01, 2007 ;
7:00 PM
Boy. Today was quite a day for me. It started out like every other school holiday, spending most of my time on my computer and occasionally studying for 1-3 hours. Then, my mum brought home the newspaper for today. She showed me the article in which a university grad who died recently because of playing too much computer games that resulted in some sickness. I was. damn shocked. and scared. From the newspaper article, i realise some of the symptons i felt recently was quite similar to wat was written. I panicked. My parents panicked too. My parents called me for a prayer in the living room. It was just like any other prayers every morning before i go to sch. Except that, now, my mum was crying as she prayed for me. And it just hit me hard tat instant.
Throughout my life, i'd always thought my parents didnt care for me, not even a little. At some point of time, i even thought that, i wasnt really their child, perhaps i was just some baby they adopted from some orphanage. I felt extreme guilt and remorse. Maybe it wasnt that my parents didnt care for me enough. Maybe it was just me, denying their right into my life, shutting them out completely. Sigh. Dad and mum, im really sorry for all these years. The times when i hollered at you guys, slammed the door shut in ur face, or simply just ignored every little conversation u attempted to start with me. I had been a really really terrible child. And for that, im really really sorry. I know no amount of sorrys can compensate on the hurt that i caused you guys to go through. Thus, i promise from today onwards, i will spend lesser time on my computer, and spend more time talking and going out with you guys. Please give me another chance to prove it to you guys ok?
It aint just my parents whom i neglected after getting addicted to my computer. My friends, church, my favourite sport basketball, had all been dumped aside because of my addiction to the computer. Because of my addiction to my computer, even when my friends asked me out, i will always tell them im busy although in actual fact, i just wanted to play my computer games. To those friends whom i pangseh-ed these years, im really sorry. Things will change alright? i promise.
I too had missed out on my church life after getting addicted. The addiction got so bad that i had missed church for like the entire of this year. People from church had constantly reminded me to go for fellowships again and again, but i just refused to heed their words. Guys, im really sorry for pangseh-ing u all in church. I promise i will start going regularly for church every saturday alright? Starting from tomorrow, the jie mei zhou =)
I used to play basketball for at least 5 hours every day from pri 6 to sec 2. After getting addicted to my computer, i began to spend lesser and lesser time on my favourite sport. Those were the days when i cant spend even a day without playing basketball. Sigh. I realise how much my fitness and stamina suffered after quiting basketball for sucha long time. Although i may not have the luxury to play basketball 5 hours a day every single day now, i will cut down on the time i spend on my computer, and exercise more regularly like i used to in the past.
Sigh. It sure feels good confiding in my blog once again. I promise from this very day, 1st june 2007, i will spend lesser time on my computer, to treat my parents much much nicer than before, to communicate nicely with them, to spend more time going out with my friends, to go to church more regularly, and to spend more time playing basketball.
God, thanks for giving me the chance to live to this very day, despite the fact that i too had spend countless of hours in front of my com every single day. I will cherish the life u had given me more from now on, on more meaningful things in life. Im really sorry for neglecting my life because of my computer. I will live my life the way u want me to do so Lord. Amen.
Well. I shall end off here for now. My apologies for yet another long and dry post. Cya around guys. =)
every day is a new day :)
